 Randall Thacker |
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Celebrate the Possibilities with Us in Seattle!
by Randall Thacker, Affirmation Senior Vice President
I sat in church today counting my blessings, feeling embraced by not only the people with whom I worship but also by the warmth of the Spirit I felt as I listened to the speakers and musical numbers. I was nearly moved to tears as I reflected on the past year of becoming integrated again into my Mormon faith community. It’s been almost a year since I decided to return to the LDS church authentically as a gay man in a relationship. I am overwhelmed by the outpouring of love I feel as the leadership and membership have woven me back into the fabric of fellowship.
When I first returned to church and told the Bishop my story, he said, “I am not a gatekeeper for the Lord. My role is to bring people to Christ. Please continue to come and I hope you will feel welcome here.” No mention of discipline or church courts, but of a genuine interest in my individual welfare and spiritual growth.
Those first months were difficult as I struggled with internal thoughts such as, “Why would you want to worship with people who probably really don’t want you there?” or “At some point they will turn on you and excommunicate you.” I became bound and determined to prove these internal statements as false – and thus has been the case. All the previous stereotypes I had of how Mormons would respond to me have been broken.
About six months after returning, the bishop invited me to serve as the primary pianist, followed a few months later with an invitation to help run the church’s inner-city tutoring program, and then an invitation to speak in sacrament meeting on Father’s Day. My recently assigned home teachers (husband and wife) have also been so welcoming and they can’t wait to meet my other half!
I realize that I am extremely fortunate to live in a very progressive area of the Church and that experiences vastly differ worldwide for gay Mormons. I mourn when I hear of stories in other areas of this country and the world where gay Mormons are immediately disciplined, mistreated, or even cast out of their churches and homes. If I were an angel and had the wish of my heart, I would go forth and speak with the trump of God and let all my gay Mormon brothers and sisters and their families know that God loves them. I would let all bishops see how my bishop has treated me.
I have a dream that one day LGBT Mormons who want Mormonism and the LDS Church as part of their spiritual path will feel welcome in every LDS Ward around the globe. In my dream I see them contributing their talents and gifts with their ward community and I see straight ward members opening up their homes to them. I see the gay couple sitting together in the pews with a straight couple next to them, while both couple’s children crawl around together below the pew. I see them speaking in sacrament meeting, helping care for the sick and afflicted, mentoring youth, singing in the choir, and receiving and giving home teaching visits. I see them using their understanding of what it feels like to be outcast as a balm for reaching down and helping the least of God’s children. This is my dream, and for me it is beginning to come true.
Please come and join us in Seattle, Washington October 19-21 to Celebrate the Journey that is leading to greater acceptance and inclusion of LGBT individuals within Mormonism and the LDS Church. To register, just visit this link. I look forward to meeting you in Seattle.
Randall Thacker
Beautiful! It is my dream too. Happy to walk along side you to make this happen.
This is truly moving and beautiful. Thank you Randall.
Randall, It was a pleasure to meet you at the NYC pride parade in June.
Thanks for joining us. You helped me feel good about my decision to be there. Marching together was a special experience for my son and I,
Neither of us thought we would see that day!
I’m so happy to see someone like you speaking out and reaching out
“sharing the love!” You are a Christ-like example.
Thank you, Randall. This is beautiful; I am so glad you are back among us! What group of people anywhere wouldn’t be blessed by your presence!?!
Well, the singing in choirs part of your dream has probably already come true, and for a while
. Lovely post.
I saw what you are describing back in the early 80′s in Manhattan. I see it as more of a geographic phenomenon than a church-wide one. I still can’t fathom it in the Mormon corridor.And I still haven’t heard about a COUPLE being welcome as you describe. Nevertheless I AM happy for you if if this is bringing you peace and acceptance. Your bishop sounds like one of the good ones
I think the answer to your question is ‘yes.’ Though we definitely still are at the “beginning” of this journey, which means inevitable bumps ahead. (Though the “bumps” are what gives us a chance to prove ourselves and to grow…!)
Thanks for this post, to remind us of the possibilities when they feel overshadowed by the bumps!
I must admit Randall….that i started reading your post with a chip on my shoulder….I’m of the “quit before you can be fired” school….and my personal history, and the history of so many of my glbt mormon friends (many now deceased…and most prematurely because of their personal demons) has convinced me that a church that proclaims itself guided by prophets and the “one and only” would never, if this were indeed the case, treat us the way we’ve been treated….therefore, the church, these prophets, the Mormon history cannot be true and, indeed, is not any truer than any other religious denomination….however…… I celebrate your return to your roots and your religious family….and I’m impressed by what has happened. You are lucky to have found these folks and they, in turn, are lucky to have you courageous enough to take a risk.
I agree that it is a beautiful thing and a beautiful dream. And I am so glad that some Bishops are beginning to see the light. But I live in a small Utah town that is over 90%LDS, and something like that would never happen where I live. People here still cower in their closets as their wards are quietly cleansed, and gay people are given the ultimatum of celibacy and repentance from sin, or disciplinary action and public shinning. (I speak from experience and from hearing this first hand from a stake president who said he is following “higher instructions.” I hope and pray that the main core of the church will change, but have little hope in my small town.
Thanks everyone for your comments. I hope for the best for those elsewhere in the world. Will you help share the dream and vision with others?
Thank you for posting this Randall. I grew up in NYC in the Mormon faith and even though my childhood friends from church, family and close friends have grown to love and except me and realize I’m the same person they have always known i am still skeptic of how a ward or branch i have never known will react. I’m afraid to walk into church and find all my fears have come true. I have know doubt their are wards and branches that are excepting I’m just not sure they are in NJ.