May 15
Deadline for Early Bird registration ($159) for the Affirmation Conference

May 16
S’mores and Games in Provo Canyon

May 19
Summer Kick-Off Barbecue in Washington DC

May 19
Equality Dinner in Southern Utah

May 30
Utah County event in Pleasant Grove

June 1-3
Utah Pride Festival in Salt Lake City

June 2
Utah Pride Interfaith Service in Salt Lake City

June 3
Gay-friendly Mormons to March in Utah Pride Parade

June 16
Boise Pride Festival and Rally

June 30
Deadline for early registration ($169) for the Affirmation Conference

July 25-28
Sunstone Symposium in Salt Lake City

August 4-5
Play “8″ Premiers in Salt Lake City

August 31
Deadline for regular registration ($179) for the Affirmation Conference

September 30
Deadline for late registration ($199) for the Affirmation Conference

October 19-21
Affirmation Conference in Seattle

Marriage Equality: The Debate Is Far From Over

by Olin Thomas, Affirmation Executive Secretary

Last week the state of North Carolina passed a constitutional amendment defining marriage as between only one man and one woman. The state of Maryland passed a law this year allowing marriage equality but now it appears opponents will be successful in forcing a referendum to repeal it. The President of the United States, as well as the Vice-President and the Secretary of Education, have now publicly supported marriage equality. The presumptive Republican presidential candidate, who is LDS, has responded that he is not in favor of either marriage equality or civil unions that have all the rights of marriage.

While the marriage equality debate has been going on for years now and it seems that public opinion is shifting towards supporting it, the debate is far from over. Public opinion is closely divided on a national basis, but there are still strong divisions regionally and within different demographics. Older voters are still more opposed to equality than younger voters, and they vote in much higher percentages. No one needs to be reminded that the South and certain Western states remain more conservative on this matter than the nation at large.

I expect a long, hard road ahead for marriage equality, though I expect it will eventually come. But the journey there remains to be made. While marriage equality was not a specific goal of Affirmation at its founding, full acceptance of gays and lesbians was. This would seem to be a natural extension of our founding premise. I believe it is vital for Affirmation to continue to exist and operate to be a reminder to all that there are actual, specific Mormon people whose lives and families are directly impacted by the issue of equality – whether it is in marriage or any of the other freedoms and rights enjoyed under our form of government. The very presence of Affirmation and its members makes the debate concrete and personal. We are needed to continue putting a face on the debate.

So, fellow Affirmation members, I encourage you to be yourselves but to let who you are be known. Ideas can be dismissed, but it is harder to dismiss people.

Conference Information

Last year’s Conference Affirmation Calendar

May 6
May discussion group for the Salt Lake Chapter

May 15
Deadline for Early Bird registration ($159) for the Affirmation Conference

May 19
Summer Kick-Off Barbecue in Washington DC

May 19
Equality Dinner in Southern Utah

June 1-3
Utah Pride Festival in Salt Lake City

June 16
Boise Pride Festival and Rally

June 30
Deadline for early registration ($169) for the Affirmation Conference

July 25-28
Sunstone Symposium in Salt Lake City

August 4-5
Play “8″ Premiers in Salt Lake City

August 31
Deadline for regular registration ($179) for the Affirmation Conference

September 30
Deadline for late registration ($199) for the Affirmation Conference

October 19-21
Affirmation Conference in Seattle

by Joshua Behn
6 May 2012

Dear Sisters and Brothers,

The registration for Affirmation’s 2012 conference “Celebrate the Journey” is now open! An early bird special is available for those who register by May 15. Current Affirmation members can register for as little as $159; nonmembers (or those with expired membership) can register starting at $184.

We are delighted to announce that John Dehlin will be one of the conference keynote speakers. John is the creator of Mormon Stories—a podcast project which eventually resulted in the creation of some 80 support communities, as well as conferences which are being held across the country.

A champion of diversity and authenticity, John has helped thousands of Mormons who were ready to leave the church to embrace their Mormon identity and live more authentic lives. John is also the co-author of a groundbreaking survey of over 1600 LGBT Mormons.

We strongly encourage you to take this opportunity to become a member or renew your membership, which is the simplest way to show that you support Affirmation and the work we are doing in affirming LGBT LDS identity, providing resources for LGTB Mormons, and ultimately helping save lives. Tax-deductible donations are more than welcome!

For the first time, we are offering express online registration. You may also register by filling out and mailing in a traditional form. Conference registration does not include hotel accommodations, but we have arranged affordable rooms with the conference hotel. To make a hotel reservation, please follow this link.

Financial assistance to attend the conference at a reduced price is available through the Irwin Phelps Scholarship. To apply for assistance, please contact me.

Register for the Seattle Conference today!

Sincerely,

Joshua Howard Behn
President
Affirmation: Gay & Lesbian Mormons

The Trevor Project

Family Acceptance Project

Suicide Prevention & Awareness Resources

Youth Resources

May 1 Event in Ogden

Mormon It Gets Better Project

May 1
Bullying and Suicide Prevention Event in Ogden

May 19
Summer Kick-Off Barbecue in Washington DC

May 19
Equality Dinner in Southern Utah

June 1-3
Utah Pride Festival in Salt Lake City

July 25-28
Sunstone Symposium in Salt Lake City

August 4-5
Play “8″ Premiers in Salt Lake City

October 19-21
Affirmation Conference in Seattle

by Randall Thacker, Affirmation Senior Vice President

“Behold, I sent you out to testify and warn the people, and it becometh every man who hath been warned to warn his neighbor.” –D&C 88:81

Sunday, April 22 was the final day of a beautiful conference in Washington, DC, featuring Mitch Mayne, Carol Lynn Pearson, Jeannine Gramick and the stories of many LGBTQ/SSA Mormons and their allies. It was a tremendous event in which a variety of people came together to share and make affirmation of their Mormon and LGBTQ/SSA identity.

Sunday, April 22 was also the final day of young Jack Denton Reese’s life. Jack, an LDS gay teen committed suicide on April 22 in Mountain Green, Utah. He was 17 years old. It is said that he was a victim of bullying. Our hearts go out with deepest sympathy to his family and friends at this time.

How is it possible that on the same day on one side of the country we are being affirmed as gay and Mormon while on the other side another gay Mormon is taking his life? How will this suffering ever come to an end?

This message today is a call to action: I exhort you to find your voice and to become anxiously engaged in the good cause of testifying that being gay and that gay relationships can be consistent with and supported by the Gospel of Jesus Christ. That a person’s unique expression of their identity is a beautiful testament to God’s diverse creations. I ask you to kindly yet boldly “warn your neighbors” of the dangers of bullying and believing and teaching others that because they are gay they are not affirmed as a child of God and a valued member of the Church and society.

Using the resources provided on the upper right or your own, please post something to your Facebook wall, tweet it, email it, or pick up the phone and talk about it. If you live in Utah, please consider attending the community event against bullying and suicide to be held in Ogden tomorrow. We must spread the word from the roofs of the housetops, if necessary. Please, do something now. Every action makes a difference.

Randall Thacker

A Passion for Equality: A Conversation with Robert Moore  2012 Equality Ride Robert’s Rider Page

by Robert Moore, Affirmation Vice President

It is Thursday, April 19 and I am in a hotel room in Denver, Colorado at 10:30pm writing this Messenger article. Tonight is the night before the 2012 Soulforce Equality Ride leaves for Salt Lake City, Utah. I am feeling so many feelings but mostly scared, scared that I have not planned the events well enough, scared that no one will show up to the events planned and scared about our meeting with officials of the LDS Church on Monday. We leave Denver at 5:30 am to head to Salt Lake which is the city I am in charge of planning all the events and meals for the four days we are in town. As the Stop planner for Salt Lake I am busy sending out email after email to make sure everything is set up and ready to go. I am also getting very nervous about some of the events we have going on while in town.

Tonight the Co-Director of the Equality Ride, Jason Connor and I gave a two-hour training to the other riders about the teachings of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (The Mormon Church). It was very hard to hear the missionary discussions without thinking back to my childhood and starting to get emotional. A few times I started to tear up when the prayers and bearing of testimony where done by Jason and myself. For so many years I (and still do more then I like to admit most days) believed in the teachings of the church. Hearing so negative comments and harshly worded questions by the other riders still hurt and was very hard not to get offended or defensive from. As someone who grew up LDS and comes from a family that has been members of the church since 1845, I still hold many
parts very close to my heart even as a gay man.

When I was a teenager and my family discovered that I was gay, I was kicked out and disowned by my family. After spending several nights on the cold rainy streets of Portland, Oregon and being raped, I found a youth homeless shelter that helped me get connected to all the agencies to get me off the streets and into permanent housing. I have not been welcomed back into my family or church as I am still a “practicing homosexual”. Some parts of me still hold onto the hope that someday while
I am still alive on this earth that I will be accepted, affirmed and celebrated for the beautiful gay child of God I was made to be.

This hope makes me so happy that on Saturday at City Creek Park in Salt Lake City from 2-4pm the 2012 Soulforce Equality Ride, Equality Utah,
Affirmation: Gay & Lesbian Mormons, City of Hope Church, PFLAG of Salt Lake City, OUTReach Resource Center and others will be co-hosting a rally in celebration of Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer (LGBTQ) people and our allies in Utah. Also on Monday, April 23 at 10:00 am five Equality Riders (including me) will be meeting with
church officials at the LDS Office Building to talk about some of our concerns around some of the church’s policies and to share our stories as
LGBTQ and allied people.

Other events in Salt Lake include a fundraiser at JAM on Saturday, April 21, from 9-12 (751 North 300 West Salt Lake City, UT 84103). Sunday,
April 22, we will be hosting, Stories from the Road – A Fireside by the 2012 Soulforce Equality Ride at Sacred Light of Christ (823 S 600 E, Salt Lake City, UT 84102) from 7:00-9:00 pm and a
concert on Monday, April 23 from 7 to 10 pm at All Saints Episcopal Church (1710 Foothill Drive, Salt Lake City, UT 84108). Donations will be
accepted for both events, but no one will be turned away for lack of funds. To see our whole schedule of events while the Equality Ride is in Salt Lake City, please check out our website here.

Much Love,

Robert Moore
Vice President
Affirmation: Gay & Lesbian Mormons
robert.moore at affirmation.org
Cell 503-702-6600

Colby Goddard

by Colby Goddard

Is it really hard to find a good gay man? It is for me. I officially came out over two years ago and have only really dated one guy since then. I had more meaningful male relationships back when I was in the closet, friendships that grew into “more”. I had greater success in dating when I was trying not to be gay than I do now, as I try to live my life as a gay man.

For most of my life I have lived around/socialized with Mormons. I plan to graduate from a University that is Mormon owned and operated. I spend most of my time around these people. Though I may not be a card-carrying member, the Church is still a part of my life. I would like to settle down and have a family. I taught the importance of families for two years. I love my family. I want my own family too, but with a husband, the man of my dreams.

Growing up Mormon made me think that I would have a lot more at my age than I actually do now. I feel young at 25, but fear that I will die alone and never find love. Regardless of the outcome, I will try my best to help those things happen. As a young gay I first turned to the Internet for help. I found Affirmation and had a profile on now-defunct connexion (God bless). I came out of my shell just from utilizing those resources.

Nonetheless, I got lonely while at school in Virginia and sadly sites like Grindr, craigslist, and adam4adam came into my life. When I first got Grindr I loved it. I enjoyed talking to other gay men in the area (which have never been plentiful); learning slowly the real use of site like those. Sadly most of the online social networking/dating sites are mostly used for hook ups.

However, that does not mean that all are that way. I have found Cor Invictus, a dynamic online community that has been created by gay Mormons to address the needs of men and women, predominantly within the worldwide Mormon community, who experience attraction to persons of their own gender, and offers gay Mormons a safe place to gather and communicate. I have been a member of the site for a year and a half and am very pleased with my membership.

Corinvictus.com underwent some extensive changes this past spring and summer, and is now online running successfully. They are also in the process of adding many new features such as a smart phone app etc. I tell all my friends that it’s the gay Mormon Facebook.

While the site numbers are still small they have a good foundation of good LGBT Mormons from every continent, looking to share information and network to friendship and relationships. I recently moved to St George, Utah and corinvictus.com helped me find friends and even a few dates. I have always felt safe when I am using the site. I know that many of you feel alone, but you’re not. Thousands of people, including myself, are on corinvictus.com. While I still have yet to find Mr. Right, I feel more confident in his existence as I socialize with other gay men.

David Melson

Resources Conference Website Hotel Reservations The Hotel Last Year’s Conference

Affirmation Calendar  April 20-22 LGBT Mormon Conference in Washington DC April 21 Celebration of Life Rally in Salt Lake City April 21 Potluck Movie Social in Salt Lake City April 27-29 Regional Mormon Stories Conference in Boston June 1-3 Utah Pride Festival in Salt Lake City July 25-28 Sunstone Symposium in Salt Lake City October 19-21 Affirmation Conference in Seattle

by David Melson

The 2012 Affirmation Conference is all about “Celebrate the Journey,” and what could be a bigger celebration along life’s journey than Prom? Prom is a time of excitement, of transition, of romance, and of celebration. At least, that is the idea behind it.

Sometimes it doesn’t quite work out though. Sometimes you don’t get to go with the one that you want. Sometimes you get persecuted for going, or you go with someone that you know is wrong for you, or you may just sit home and make up stories about how you really didn’t want to go anyway (even though you did). Sometimes, excuses just seem easier than coming out.

No matter. Because you are as totally awesome as you are, do-overs are allowed. (And if your prom was totally great, well then why not do it again?) Because one of the features of this year’s conference is The Prom You Never Had. We will have a dance floor and great music from the 50s, 60s, 70s, 80s, 90s, and the 2000s. No guidance counselors, no chaperones. You can wear that tux or that gown that you always wanted to, or that James Dean T-shirt, jeans, and leather jacket, or whatever else makes you feel amazing. Bring someone special, or come stag, but don’t miss out on this!

We are meeting October 19-21 in downtown Seattle, Washington. Along with Prom, conference also includes some great speakers, fascinating workshops, and the annual devotional service featuring the Affirmation Temple Choir that was the hit of last year’s conference. Our closing session will be a luncheon cruise on Puget Sound.

Judy will be leading the choir again this year. If you would like to join the choir, please make a note on your registration form or contact Judy. Last year’s choir performance in the Kirtland Temple drew rave reviews, and this year’s promises to be every bit as good or better. Have a great idea for a workshop? It’s not too late to contact us. Contact me – or any other member of the conference committee — at www.affirmation.org/ contact/dave_melson.

Celebrate with us in Seattle this fall. Hotel room reservations may be made at this link. We are staying at the Renaissance Seattle Hotel, easily accessible from the Seattle Airport via light rail.

Celebrate the Journey!

David Melson
Conference Director
Affirmation: Gay and Lesbian Mormons

BYU It Gets Better Channel AP Story (with sound bites by Josh & Randall) Creating Hellos, No More Goodbyes!

Affirmation Calendar April 10 Affirmation BBQ in Pleasant Grove April 11 “Ex-Gay Therapy” Panel in Provo April 12 “Ex-Gay Therapy” Event in Salt Lake City April 20-22 LGBT Mormon Conference in Washington DC April 21 Potluck Movie Social in Salt Lake City April 27-29 Regional Mormon Stories Conference in Boston June 1-3 Utah Pride Festival in Salt Lake City July 25-28 Sunstone Symposium in Salt Lake City October 19-21 Affirmation Conference in Seattle

by Judy (Chapter Development Director)
and Hugo (Webmaster)

On this Easter Sunday, when we celebrate that “He is risen, as he said” (Matthew 28:6), we want to report two developments that give us great hope for the future:

• Just two days ago, LGBT students at BYU posted a video which has already been viewed over 163,000 times. Beautifully shot on campus, the 10-minute clip shows several real-life BYU students coming out as LGBT. All these students have two things in common: They have all experienced frustration, depression, and in some cases even suicidal thoughts; and they have all had powerful spiritual experiences that led them to find peace and accept their sexual orientation. By stating “It Gets Better,” these BYU students are sending a powerful message of hope. Watch this video. Post it on your Facebook wall. Share it with family and friends. This most inspiring video will help save many lives.

• On April 16, author Carol Lynn Pearson will speak to the Danville chapter of PFLAG (Parents, Families, & Friends of Lesbians and Gays). On that occasion, Affirmation will present PFLAG with a copy of Carol Lynn’s book, No More Goodbyes: Circling the Wagons around Our Gay Loved Ones. This book is also helping make a difference and save lives. If you or your Affirmation chapter in interested is helping place copies in local libraries, please send an email to Judy.

Life is indeed triumphing over death. It’s happening at BYU, where students are coming out of their graves of shame and secrecy and embracing new life. It’s happening in California, when Carol Lynn Pearson and many allies are spreading a message of hope. And it’s happening in Washington DC, where the Open Stories Foundation, with Affirmation’s support, is about to hold a “Circling the Wagons” conference to discuss Mormon LGBT experience.

On this Easter Sunday, life triumphs over death.

Judy & Hugo
Affirmation: Gay & Lesbian Mormons

Registration

Neighborhood & Transportation Guide (PDF)

Promotional Pamphlet (PDF)

Flyer 1 and Flyer 2 (PDF) Affirmation Calendar

April 11
“Ex-Gay Therapy” Panel in Provo

April 12
“Ex-Gay Therapy” Event in Salt Lake City

April 20-22
LGBT Mormon Conference in Washington DC

April 21
Potluck Movie Social in Salt Lake City

April 27-29
Regional Mormon Stories Conference in Boston

June 1-3
Utah Pride Festival

July 25-28
Sunstone Symposium in Salt Lake City

October 19-21
Affirmation Conference in Seattle

Conference to Be Held April 20-22 in Washington D.C.

Last November in Salt Lake City I witnessed a conference where a tremendously diverse group of Latter-day Saints, LGBT and straight, active, inactive, and “secular” Mormons, gathered to share perspectives on LGBT Mormon experience. The conference was so successful and inspiring that Affirmation has partnered with The Open Stories Foundation to organize a similar event in Washington DC. The conference will be on April 20-22, with most events to be held in a chapel of the Community of Christ (formerly RLDS). Our beloved Carol Lynn Pearson, openly gay bishopric secretary Mitch Mayne, and Sister Jeannine Gramick, a nun with the Sisters of Loretto, will be among the speakers.

If you live anywhere east of the Mississippi, I want you to consider joining me. In fact, I don’t just want you to attend the event–I want you to help me promote it. At this time when so many Mormons are gaining awareness about the plight of LGBT Mormons, I want you to overcome any shyness you may have and consider inviting your parents, your bishop, fellow ward members, and your friends.

Note the following:

1. Registration: Although the suggested registration fee is $44, you can attendthe whole event for as little as $10 if that is all you can afford. Please register soon. Registration is important because we need a head count for Friday’s reception and Saturday’s meals (which may include main dish for the potluck brunch and a full catered dinner). If you cannot attend the whole event, please consider joining us for parts of it.
2. Venues: The Friday event is a reception to be held at the Williams residence in Arlington. The Saturday conference and Sunday morning service will be held in the Community of Christ Church on “Embassy Row” in Washington DC.
3. Schedule: The main event will run on Saturday from 11 am to 7 pm. The Sunday morning service (11 to 12) will include an interfaith service with speakers from both the LDS and Community of Christ faiths.
4. More details, including a pamphlet you can use to promote the event and a neighborhood and transportation guide, are posted on the Mormon Stories website.

Last year during our conference in Kirtland we discovered that there’s a special synergy and bond that we achieve when we gather with those who are not part of Affirmation. This includes parents and supporters, church leaders, and even friends from other faiths.

Don’t hesitate, pick up the phone or forward this pamphlet and/or this email to your friends, family, and fellow church members/leaders. Post the link to the conference and registration on Facebook and Twitter. You may never know whose life you may change through greater understanding.

Join me in three weeks in Washington DC. Together we will build bridges of understanding that may end up saving lives, hearts, and souls.

Hugo Salinas
Webmaster
Affirmation: Gay & Lesbian Mormons

27 March 2012
Honolulu, Hawai’i

My brothers and sisters,

It has been a rough week. On March 18, Chris Wayne Beers, of Woods Cross Utah, took his life, yet another in a long line of LGBT Mormons who felt that they had no other option left to them. We don’t know the particular circumstances of his situation. It is possible that Chris was a perfectly well adjusted gay man who was struggling with complex mental health conditions unrelated to his orientation. However it might have been, as a gay Mormon Chris faced the same issues that we all have, trying to make sense of the world we experience with the teachings and societal reinforcement we are taught. LGBT Mormons are in a particularly vulnerable high risk category.

It is days like these where it is well within our right to feel anger and helplessness, wondering if we are truly making a difference: a mere ripple in a wide and vast ocean. I can tell you without a doubt, that what we are doing is definitely making a difference. It is through small and simple things that great things come to pass. Within chaos theory there is the idea that “a butterfly flaps its wings in California and creates a monsoon in China,” and so it is with Affirmation.

There is much more work to be done however, and I am personally asking for your help in this endeavor. Not on the national level, but rather, within the communities you live.

I want to challenge you to commit to two hours this coming month of April, devoting it to any local cause which seeks to better the lives of LGBT individuals. Not to give money, but to give of your own time. Each of us has the power to make a big difference, together creating engines of change.

Will you accept this challenge? There are other Chris Beers in this world who desperately need us. If Affirmation at all has had an impact in your life, put down the iPhone; turn off the Radio; skip the football game. And for two hours, reignite the flame of hope in the very heart of your home community.

With Faith in the Present
And Hope for the Future,

Joshua Howard Behn
President
Affirmation: Gay & Lesbian Mormons

March 27
Affirmation Event in Utah County

March 27

Homosexuality and Mormonism Discussion at the Provo City Library

March 31
General Conference Smrunch in Pleasant Grove

April 1
Affirmation Event in New York City

April 1
After Conference Sunday Fireside in Salt Lake City

April 20-22
LGBT Mormon Conference in Washington DC

April 21
Potluck Movie Social in Salt Lake City

April 27-29
Regional Mormon Stories Conference in Boston

June 1-3
Utah Pride Festival

July 25-28
Sunstone Symposium in Salt Lake City

October 19-21
Affirmation Conference in Seattle

by Fred Bowers

During our last annual conference we hosted several sessions about the Future of Affirmation. As the note taker during one of the sessions I really enjoyed the discussion and the ideas that were presented by our members. The purpose of each session was to generate a discussion about the future of Affirmation and to learn about what the attendees believed its focus should be in the coming years. The questions we asked were: How do you believe Affirmation can best serve the LGBTQ Mormon community? What do you think are the things Affirmation should START, STOP, and KEEP doing? How do we make the journey along the road better for us all?

Here are the results of the session I attended:

START

• Create environment for people who are still are active in the church
• Dialogue with the [LDS] church on reconciliation
• Work with wards (i.e. ward members) and bishops (i.e. local leaders) on LGBT Mormon issues. Focus on cultural bridges and treatment of younger members
• Outreach to LGBT Mormons about issues relevant in their lives (core mission)
• Conferences via satellite or other means.. or virtual conferences

STOP

• No comments

KEEP

• Our website.. key to the organization
• Serving as a place for people transitioning
• Using website as a source of information
• Chapter meetings should continue to be informal.. makes for a more comfortable environment for those coming out
• Keep sending out the Messenger.. great to hear about Affirmation every week.. need to add subscription auto-manager instead of having to wait for a real person to answer
• Reemphasize this is a gay LDS organization, not just an organization for ex-Mormons
• Being a safe space.. have an open umbrella
• Keep cornerstones.. need to turn them into mini-conferences.. change focus from being leadership/business focused

We are grateful to those who shared their thoughts during this session at the Cleveland/Kirtland Ohio conference but know others would like to share their ideas with us about what Affirmation should START, STOP, and KEEP. Please let us know your thoughts through email, Facebook, or Twitter. We look forward to hearing them.

During the weekend of October 19-21, 2012, we are hoping you will make the journey to Seattle Washington and join us at our annual conference to “Celebrate the Journey”! When we announced the conference back in January we said we would provide details on how to submit proposals for the conference and some ideas to get your creativity going. Information about conference proposals is now available here.

Please feel free to send any ideas you have about what Affirmation should START, STOP, and KEEP to any member of the Executive Committee and your conference proposals to me while there is still space in the conference schedule to include them. We wish you well on your journey along the road and please let us know how we can help make our common journey better for us all.

Thanks and best wishes,

Fred Bowers
2012 Assistant Conference Chair
Affirmation: Gay & Lesbian Mormons