Valentine Marriage (2:10)

Marriage Equality

Equality Federation

Mormons for Marriage

March 10-11
Sunstone Symposium in Kirtland

June 1-3
Utah Pride Festival

July 25-28
Sunstone Symposium in Salt Lake City

October 19-21
Affirmation Conference in Seattle

What is your earliest memory of working for marriage equality? My own recollections go back to 1998, when I learned that the LDS Church was sending $500,000 to Alaska to fight same-sex marriage. At that time my Mormon friend David Combe was involved in what he called “MormonAid”–a group of progressive Latter-day Saints who supported marriage equality. Although I was struggling financially as a student, I felt compelled to send a very modest $10.00 check to the “No on 2” campaign in support of MormonAid and marriage equality. I even included a note that said, “I’m a Mormon and I support your cause.” Today I wonder: If it hadn’t been for that LDS assault on marriage, and my friend David’s courageous counterattack, would I have felt the call to take sides on the issue?

Fast forward 14 years. Today six states and the District of Columbia in the U.S., along with 10 other countries, allow LGBT people to marry. By the time we gather in Seattle in October, the list may include Washington state. We no longer have MormonAid, but we have organizations like Mormons for Marriage and people like Laura Compton and Brad Carmack. Just like David Combe did in 1998, these modern pioneers look you in the eye and tell you, with conviction: “I support marriage equality, and I am a Mormon.”

It is profoundly ironic that at a time when the LDS Church continues to attack our families, Mormons everywhere are finding out that their Mormonism actually inspires them to support equality. But how could they not? We know what it is like to be persecuted for our belief in marriage; we know that “whoever forbids to marry is not ordained of God” (D&C 49:15); we know what it means to be “anxiously engaged in a good cause” (D&C 58:27). The road is winding and bumpy, yet the cause of marriage equality will prevail—not because this nation is in “moral decay,” as many religious leaders want you to believe, but because this cause is on the side of justice.

Whether you’re single, partnered, or married, on this upcoming Valentine’s Day, let’s reflect on how much progress we have made on this important cause, and how crucial it is at this time that we continue to proclaim: “I support marriage equality—and I’m a Mormon.”

Hugo Salinas
Webmaster
Affirmation: Gay & Lesbian Mormons

February 2
Bill Bradshaw to Discuss Homosexuality in Provo

February 3-4
Sunstone Symposium in Claremont

March 10-11
Sunstone Symposium in Kirtland

June 1-3
Utah Pride Festival

July 25-28
Sunstone Symposium in Salt Lake City

October 19-21
Affirmation Conference in Seattle

by Fred Bowers

Taken from the hit Broadway musical “The Book of Mormon,” this statement summarizes the strong faith and sense of empowerment we feel as LDS people. At the same time Elder Price is singing the song “I Believe,” he is building up the courage to convert The General, a local warlord.

Much like Elder Price building up courage to convert The General, many LGBT (sometimes referred to as same-sex attracted) LDS members muster up the courage to work through their feelings for the same sex (or both sexes) and not “turn them off” like Elder McKinley, a character in the musical who represses his gay thoughts.

Both Elder Price and Elder McKinley are on a mission to teach converts about the Gospel and about the LDS Church. Many hours are spent teaching and learning from each other in the LDS Church, however there are too few hours spent educating many Church members about the difficult spiritual and emotional issues that confront LGBT church members that want to remain faithful to their church and also acknowledge their LGBT identities.

There is a group that not only believes in the open expression of one’s LGBT LDS identity, but also supports educating all that will hear our voices within the LDS church about being more respectful of those who are LGBT and LDS. This group is Affirmation: Gay and Lesbian Mormons.

Affirmation, a group of current and former Mormons believes –

• As individuals we must engage in open dialogue to achieve mutual understanding
• Emotional health is essential to achieve positive change
• In living visible lives of personal integrity and honesty
• It is our responsibility to present the positive aspects of our lives and counter negative stereotypes and untruths
• Hate is grounded in ignorance and fear and is best overcome through unconditional love
• Addressing ignorance through non-violent confrontation is a positive vehicle for change
• Involving friends, family, and others in our activities creates mutual support and understanding
• Contributions of time, talents, and resources will provide a foundation for achieving equality

And we affirm –

• Spiritual health is the right of all individuals and is compatible with a happy and fulfilling LGBT life.

At the end of the Broadway musical, Elder McKinley and ensemble leave us with the infectiously uplifting song “Tomorrow Is a Latter Day” telling us:

“We love to dance and shout
And let all the feelings out
And work to make a better Latter Day”

This gay Mormon just believes in actively educating the LDS Church. Much like the Book of Mormon changes lives, a more LGBT inclusive Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints will change the daily lives of LGBT Mormons by creating openness and love where there was once separation, isolation, and pain. A “better latter day” for today’s and tomorrow’s LGBT Mormons is something that Affirmation: Gay and Lesbian Mormons and I believe in.

Thanks and best wishes,

Fred Bowers
2012 Assistant Conference Chair
Affirmation: Gay & Lesbian Mormons

A few tidbits show Mormon attitudes have changed, albeit frustratingly slowly, over the decades.

Monya Baker, Staff Blogger

(The list above is far from definitive; it is simply a group of parallels that came to mind. Please feel free to add others in the comments section.)

Despite a frustrating record of intolerance and worse, mainstream Mormon attitudes have become more enlightened since the 1970s. Few bishops today are advising gay people that straight marriage will solve their “problems.” And some congregations welcome openly gay (though assumed celibate) members.

To be sure, the LDS Church is far from a safe space for GLBT people, but in January, a member of the First Quorum of the Seventy said that the Church needed to be more inclusive. In light of past abuses, no one can deny this is progress.

I’d like to end with a positive spin. In late 2011 a letter to the editor in the BYU newspaper the Daily Universe compared GLBT parents to prostitutes and serial killers. But this was almost immediately met with a widely-circulated flyer protesting the letter. And shortly after that, a GLBT-related group, “Understanding Same-Gender Attraction,” was allowed to meet on campus, though not as an official university-affiliated group. According to their FaceBook page, their January 19 meeting this year drew over 70 people, forcing organizers to search for larger meeting rooms. Its FaceBook page boasts some 233 members, some of whom have posted links to marriage-equality and “It Gets Better” videos.

It comforts me to think that, in a few decades, some posters may be General Authorities.

Monya Baker
Staff Blogger

January 25-29
Creating Change Conference in Baltimore

January 28
Affirmation Potluck in Portland

February 3-4
Sunstone Symposium in Claremont

March 10-11
Sunstone Symposium in Kirtland

June 1-3
Utah Pride Festival

July 25-28
Sunstone Symposium in Salt Lake City

October 19-21
Affirmation Conference in Seattle

by Olin Thomas, Affirmation Executive Secretary
23 January 2012

The South Carolina primaries this week and the subsequent media coverage has reminded me of one of the things I was taught by the LDS Church in which I saw great wisdom and remember to this day: that the Church was political neutral, never supporting specific candidates nor platforms. In fact, a statement of political neutrality is currently posted on LDS.org, stating just that. I read the full statement and, as best my memory serves, was what I recall being taught back in the 1980s while I was fully active. However, the statement also reads: “[the Church] reserves the right as an institution to address, in a nonpartisan way, issues that it believes have significant community or moral consequences or that directly affect the interests of the Church.”

We have seen efforts by the Church, over the years, to do just that, especially in regards to marriage equality. Is it possible for an organization to be truly neutral on a platform, yet take a stand on an issue? This matter is further complicated by the fact that many of the issues that are viewed as affecting the Church do end up in the platforms of the main two political parties as opposing views, so it is completely obvious which party “agrees” with the Church and which affects its interests negatively. King Solomon himself would have trouble finding a way to express such a view and remain neutral. I wonder what we can reasonably expect from the Church – our Church or any Church – in the political arena?

I would offer this advise: that everyone, Mormon and non-Mormon, read the Statement of Political Neutrality and reflect on it. There would be no better outcome that could be expected than full adherence to the sentiments expressed in that short letter. I quote again from it: “The Church does encourage its members to play a role as responsible citizens in their communities, including becoming informed about issues and voting in elections. [It does] expect its members to engage in the political process in an informed and civil manner, respecting the fact that members of the Church come from a variety of backgrounds and experiences and may have differences of opinion in partisan political matters.” The only problem I see with the Church position is in deciding what constitutes an issue that affects the interests of the Church or has moral consequences, rather than being a matter of partisan politics. It is often assumed, by political observers, that “Mormons” will vote in lock step with a Church position.

We need to remind them and everyone, though our words and actions, that the Church position is actually for citizens to make their own informed decisions. We should phrase our commentary in ways that emphasizes the issue not the politics. In describing how decisions can impact others, we can encourage compassion rather than rigid orthodoxy. I was always taught in Church to think for myself and pray for my own guidance. I hope now that all voters will do just that.

It is conceivable that the United States of America may elect a Mormon as President in the next election. Should this happen, it would be quite a milestone in tolerance for the American people. That not everyone who is Mormon will be glad to see that outcome is natural too. If we get a President Romney in 2013, I would also encourage him to read again the neutrality statement. I would especially remind him of this passage from it: “Elected officials who are Latter-day Saints make their own decisions and may not necessarily be in agreement with one another or even with a publicly stated Church position. While the Church may communicate its views to them, as it may to any other elected official, it recognizes that these officials still must make their own choices based on their best judgment and with consideration of the constituencies whom they were elected to represent.” We must ever remind our political leaders that we are their constituents and let them know our needs and desires. We must be informed and participate in the electoral process. And we should expect the Church to adhere to its own policy of political neutrality. It is actually a pretty good policy.

I think it’s only fair that I set a precedent about my remarks and the perspective that I have nowadays. I don’t identify as Mormon anymore – culturally or spiritually. Over the course of these past several years, as I’ve realized the degree of incompatibility between being a practicing homosexual is with Mormon theology, I’ve decided to separate that from what I can change versus that which I can’t. I have complete control over who and what I associate myself with, and separating myself from the Mormon Church has enabled me to forge new directions in my life, be happy, and actually make decisions based on my interaction with this world and not on what some ancient, mythological text prescribes for me.

I now have a more atheistic and pragmatic view of the world. I don’t claim to know any one particular aspect of religion or God is true, or even untrue. I’ve done my own studying and pondering on the LDS church and religions as a whole through discussions, publications and opinion on others. I’ve sat up on friends’ couches talking into the wee hours of the night, talking about their experiences growing up Roman Catholic, Episcopalian (the conservative-edition), and how their churches claim the same stakes Mormons do – the one, true church with the most complete understanding of God’s will and intent.

Surely the Mormon Church isn’t the first to lay claim such authority. Such claims of absolute authority cannot pass rational thought or reason. I mean, if it’s merely a contest of who’s been around the longest, the Mormons would practically come in last place, since they’ve only been around for less than 200 years. But as most of us know, the Mormons have sure done a good job of turning up the level of crazy over those short 200 years. In any case, I digress a bit, but at least you have some more understanding of the lens in which I view the church, religion and the world with these days.

So, I heard that Jay E. Jensen made the following remark during a CES Devotional on the 8th of this month. He reportedly said, “the adversary seeks to deorganize [sic] and to destroy, especially families, as evidenced today by abortion, divorce, and same-gender marriage.” That’s right, gay marriage is going to destroy families, along with abortion and divorce. When I saw this quote, I just had to go and see this for myself, but conveniently lds.org does not have the print edition of this talk available at the time I wrote this, and I just couldn’t stomach the idea of watching the video broadcast. So if that quote is factually inaccurate, I will stand corrected.

However, this is practically what the church leaders have been saying for decades. We may as well prepare for the end of life as we know it if gay marriage is legalized. Giant cracks will form in the ground. Planes will just drop out of the sky for no reason. And perhaps it will literally rain fire from the clouds. Never mind that it is now legal in 6 states in the United States plus the District of Columbia, and legal in Argentina, Belgium, Canada, Iceland, the Netherlands, Norway, Portugal, Spain, South Africa and Sweden. It’s been that way for a while now, and my flights home on January 1^st stayed in the air for the appropriate amount of time and were quite pleasant.

OK, I’m being quite flippant with those examples, but perhaps you get my point. If you need more examples of how evil gay people are according to the leadership of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, I will be happy to provide you with several examples. Please contact me directly or leave a comment.

I don’t buy into this idea that allowing gay people to marry is going to destroy civilization. So far it hasn’t, and it isn’t going to anytime soon. But each time these bigots get up on their bully pulpits and spew their bile in the disguise of religious council, there are several questions that I would like to ask them. Truthfully there are no answers, but if their claims are to be true, surely they must be able to answer them:

• What exactly is the threat that exists to society if gays are allowed to be married?
• If marriage is the means to which children are brought into this world and raised, should infertile people or those who have decidedly chosen not to have children also be prevented from marrying?
• What will change about your marriage to your current spouse if two men or women get married to each other? Will you suddenly love your wife/husband less or feel that your marriage means nothing to you anymore?
• Are you aware that two people can be legally married without setting foot on religious property or having any clergy involved in the ceremony?

Eventually it would be nice if these bigots would stop blaming gays, abortion or other people’s divorces for the so-called downfall of society. Rick Santorum has built a political career of making extremely hateful comments that are at a level beyond comprehension. If you are unfamiliar with what he’s said, spend a little time on the internet searching for articles related to him; I’ll spare you the details. But, why is it that people continue to enable bigots like Santorum? To me, the answer is clear: religious intolerance, such as that demonstrated by Mr. Jensen or Boyd K. Packer, Dallin Oaks, and several others have given them all authority to hate and pass judgment without hesitation. They think it is perfectly acceptable because they’ve positioned themselves as the most holy of men on the planet. Therefore, they must be the most correct.

I don’t buy it. I haven’t bought it for several years now. Anyone who has a claim on the absolute truth (or even the greatest amount of truth) is operating under a cloud of delusion so thick they wouldn’t be able to see their own hand if it were right in front of their face. And, they are equally as blind to the damage that causes around them: gay people killing themselves due to modern-day torture at the hands of bullies; transgender people chased out of bathrooms, or kids being thrown out of their homes and into a life on the streets, reduced to begging for spare change, eating out of dumpsters and possibly selling themselves for drugs or alcohol … we have an academic level (and some, a practiced level) knowledge about what this does to people. But, those who preach this vile hate don’t give a two-shilling shit about what happens to any of these “lesser” people. To them, every gay kid that kills himself or is kicked out of his or her home is pure collateral damage to the greater, eternal plan. They have no answers to the questions I proposed earlier, because they want to continue to feel superior in their position and justify their prejudices. What’s even more disgusting is that the politicians do it for the right dollar figure. They’re whores! They’d sell their own mother’s soul down the river if it got them an extra million bucks for their re-election effort. And, you shouldn’t buy it either.

How quickly Mormons forget that not long ago they were on the side of the oppressed. In fact, it was so bad for them they felt the only choice was to flee the United States and head to the Utah Territory, outside the official borders at the time. It started not long after Missouri Executive Order 44, the extermination order. In the order, it was cited Mormons “attitude of open and avowed defiance of the laws,” and they should be “treated as enemies, and must be exterminated or drive from the state if necessary for the public peace – their outrages are beyond all description.” Yet today, they make a very similar argument against gay people: we will destroy families with same-sex marriage. Remember? The victim has now become the oppressor in this case. But don’t point this out because they don’t want to be reminded of such terrible times in their own history – they are very defensive about being reminded of how they were perceived due to their practice of polygamy and the reasons why it was practiced. But I’m not going to get into that here. Just know, they were once also an oppressed people for what could be considered strange practices. You’d think we would have a touch more sympathy from Mormons in general. But, we don’t. Quite the opposite, in fact.

People like this are offensive to me, religious or otherwise, and they should be to you as well. They practice exactly the opposite that Jesus Christ taught in the New Testament. The behavior is decidedly un-Christian – even the simple, great principle of “Love thy neighbor” (Matthew 19:19) is cast aside for a more popular belief. The best illustration of this was spoken by political commentator Bill Maher on one of his “Real Time” episodes: “Martin Luther King gets to call himself a Christian, because actually practiced loving his enemies.” He continues, “But, if you rejoice in revenge, torture and war … you cannot say you’re a follower of the guy who explicitly said love your enemies and do good to those who hate you” (ref. Matthew 5:44).

I would ask that you consider your sources when listening to talks such as Jensen’s, or anytime Packer or Oaks get up and spew hate from any pulpit. Be wary of politicians who talk in circles or change subjects to confuse those around you. Know that you are a good person, exactly the way you are. You can pursuit happiness as promised in happier parts of the scriptures (if that’s what you believe), and you can have a wonderful, fulfilling life without the constraints of those around you who would otherwise seek to take your liberty and choices away from you. Take off the blinders that others would thrust upon you. Seek to live an authentic life in 2012. Know there are people out there who will accept you unconditionally for who you are; where being gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender is the least alarming thing you could possibly say. Hopefully I will get to see you again at the conference in Seattle this October, or even possibly before. Here’s to a happy and healthy start to the year.

Robert Moore

A Passion for Equality: A Conversation with Robert Moore  2012 Equality Ride Robert’s Rider Page “Do As I’m Doing” (Primary Song)

Affirmation Calendar  January 20-22 Mormon Stories Conference in Houston January 25-29 Creating Change Conference in Baltimore October 19-21 Affirmation Conference in Seattle

by Robert Moore, Affirmation Vice President

What an amazing week and a half it has been. On January 3 at 12:55am I flew to Miami, Florida, for a week-long training. The training was for Soulforce’s 2012 Equality Ride. The Equality Ride is a bus of seventeen young adults who travel across the country visiting colleges with unfriendly policies or practices towards LGBTQ students, staff, and faculty. We are from all across the country, from Philadelphia to Portland, and from all different faith backgrounds, three (including myself) being raised LDS.

Each morning kicked off at 8:30am with an ice breaker. One morning the three LDS riders taught the rest the song “Do as I’m Doing.” We ended each night around 9:00 pm, with only a few five-minute breaks and an hour for meals. We dove into conversations most people avoid. On the lighter side of the topics were a communications seminar, Bible boot camp, and media training complete with recording mock interviews. On the more difficult side were intense conversations on classism and race. At the end of February, we will have our second week-long training right before we jump on the bus. This training will include a civil disobedience training and Mormonism 101.

The Equality Ride takes off from Philadelphia on March 3. We will be visiting Atlanta, Nashville, Chicago, Minneapolis, Oklahoma City, New Orleans, Dallas, Denver, Salt Lake City, Portland, and San Francisco between March 3 and May 2. I look forward to meeting students all across the country and having some great but difficult conversations and seeing many of you at our community events on our stops. If you would like to support the 2012 Equality Ride, you can make a donation at my Rider Page. Contributors will receive personalized updates from the road via emails and postcards addressed by myself and my fellow riders. Please feel free to contact me with any questions you may have regarding the 2012 Equality Ride.

Much Love,

Robert Moore
Vice President
Affirmation: Gay & Lesbian Mormons
Robert.moore (at) affirmation.org

January 25-29
Creating Change Conference in Baltimore

October 19-21
Affirmation Conference in Seattle

by Randall Thacker, Affirmation Senior Vice President

Hello, Affirmation friends. I hope you are settling well into 2012. I haven’t met many of you, but one thing I know for certain is that you are all in very different places along your journey of reconciling being gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender AND Mormon. It is not an easy journey. As a current and gay-affirming LDS bishop recently told me, “It is probably one of the most difficult challenges a person can be given – to be gay AND Mormon.” The journey often includes various valleys of despair, plateaus of acceptance, and then mountain peaks with breathtaking peace.

For those whose journey is just beginning, it can be overwhelming and at times feel hopeless. If you are at this point in your journey and you need help, please don’t ever hesitate to reach out to a fellow Affirmation member or leader to sustain and help you. We are all here to help one another “strengthen the feeble knees and hands that are weak.”

If you have reached a plateau of accepting your sexuality but still struggle to find complete peace, we are here to provide a community wherein you can feel fully affirmed while participating in wholesome activities and gatherings that are filled with the wonderful fruits of the Spirit.

For those of you who have reached that breathtaking peace of reconciliation, we ask you to please continue with those of us still on our journey and to reach out to those who need that steady hand.

I’m honored to be on this journey with all of you and to serve you this year. Please feel free to reach out to me at any time.

Randall Thacker

NOTE: If you are ever really in despair and can’t reach someone, don’t hesitate to call the Trevor Project Hotline at 866-488-7386. Additional resources are listed at http://affirmation.org/contact/someone_to_talk.shtml.

Friends, Romans, Countrymen, Lend me your ears…So begins one of the most famous monologues in the Shakespeare cannon, and one which could probably rank grand enough for Marc Antony, himself. Like that statesman, I appear before a group of my peers, anxious to say the words that are needed for the moment. But, unlike the illustrious General, I am not an orator, nor do I have the stomach for such spectacles. And so, as a fellow activist in the Queer Mormon movement, with the daunting task of representing your interests in the coming year, I humbly thank you for the confidence you have expressed in choosing me and vow to live up to the trust that you have placed in my care.

Each one of our paths is unique to our own experience, but there are many commonalities that we have shared in. I was born in the LDS church, the son of converts who grew up in the covenant. I rose through the ranks of youth: deacon, Teacher, priest; early morning seminary, YSA, and finally, was accepted into the ‘Lord’s University,’ Brigham Young University. There was a time when I could unequivocally say that the Mormon faith was the only true church on the face of the earth; that the First Vision ushered in a restoration of things lost in the great apostasy; that there was a prophet that God still spoke through. I lived in Eden, where the world was black and white, and ‘all was well.’ I’m quite certain that I am not the only one who lived a pre-cataclysm life.

Yet, we were never meant to live in such utopia. Like Mother Eve who realized there was only so much potential that could be achieved in paradise, we too ate of the tree of Good and Evil. Thrust out of the familiarity of all that we had known and held dear, we also wandered in a land that was harsh and barren. We worked to till the earth, through famine, child bearing and flood. After much struggle, the earth let loose her bounty, and we found life anew. Nephi rejoiced that “Adam fell that men might be, and men are that they might have joy,” and we too have come to realize our own joy, living as we were meant to, and realizing a potential that lay hidden deep inside us.

Life has not been without its hardships, in some cases almost unbearably so. But our Heavenly Mother and Father have blessed us, smiled on our efforts, and even carried us when the chasm was too wide. With those trials of desperation have also come joys beyond our comprehension. Did we transgress the law as we knew it? As it is written, it cannot be denied that we did. And yet, our first parents also “transgressed.”

“Because of my transgression my eyes are opened, and in this life I shall have joy, and again in the flesh shall I see God. And Eve, his wife, heard all these things and was glad, saying: Were it not for our transgression we never should have had seed, and never should have known good and evil, and the joy of our redemption…”     –Moses 5:11

There is a plan, and we are definitely a part of it. It is a plan that surpasses our understanding, for a much higher purpose. Our sexuality and orientation are as great a gift to us as the fruit of the tree was to our first parents. Yes, it has brought us pain, doubt and sometimes even death. But with those sorrows have come celestial joy, relief and peace. As sons of Adam and daughters of Eve, we have a great legacy and an example to follow.

Brothers and Sisters, rejoice! Find the downtrodden and afflicted who have lost hope, and together build the Zion that we were once promised. Those promises will come true, whether because of what we have been taught, or in spite of it. This is the great testimony with which I leave you all, to start a year filled with miracles, fellowship and one in which our footsteps will be divinely guided.

Welcome to this great year, 2012, the year in which Affirmation has many challenges to face yet many opportunities to grow and help restore hope to those who need it the most. To evoke a masonic oath, may we be kept “steadfast in the due performance of the same.”

Joshua Howard Behn
Honolulu, Hawai’i
Affirmation: Gay and Lesbian Mormons

May your heart be filled with the joy of the Christmas miracle, now and throughout the year, and may your home, wherever you find it, be filled with love, good cheer, and peace.

The Affirmation Executive Committee:

David Melson
Mary England
Joshua Behn
Hugo Salinas
Bruce Maughan
Robert Moore
Buck Jeppson

This is the last Messenger that you will receive from me as President, and so it seems appropriate to step back and take a look at the past three years. When I first ran for President (Executive Director then), I said that I wanted to serve for three years; you have graciously supported me with your votes for those three years, and I am grateful.

The past three years have been a time of transition for Affirmation. Those who study such things tell us that non-profit organizations typically go through a thirty to thirty-five year cycle: they form as the brainchild of one or two people, they grow in strength and size, reach their peak years, they start to fade out, and then either they reinvent themselves and repeat that whole cycle or they disappear. Transition, reinvention, change – these are painful things, more so when the world around us is changing just as quickly.

The generation of leaders who formed Affirmation in the late 1970’s is the same generation that has been leading Affirmation ever since. Back then, we were a bit younger, a bit more radical, our energies were a bit more sustainable, and our optimism and vision were unlimited. I stated three years ago that one of my objectives was to turn the leadership of Affirmation over to the rising generation, that I should be the last of my generation to stand at the head of Affirmation. This we have done, and I am confident in the ability of my successor and others of his generation to take us in exciting new directions and in the willingness of the elder generation to sustain and support them.

At the first meeting of my Executive Committee, we came up with a brief encapsulation of Affirmation’s mission statement, the CASE for Affirmation: Communication, Advocacy, Safe Spaces, and Ending the Damage, and we have worked hard to fulfill that mission. You have heard more from your Executive Committee these past three years than you have before. The weekly Affirmation Messenger has kept you up to date on what the members of the Executive Committee are doing and what we are thinking about. Our web presence has expanded and become more sophisticated. Affirmation has stood up and spoken out for the things that are important to us and against the things that affect us negatively. We have made significant efforts to fight suicide and homelessness, issues that affect gay Latter-day Saints disproportionately more that the general population. By speaking out and making people aware of who we are, by fighting against bullying and homophobia, we have created more safe spaces within the community, the church, and within a great many homes. And by forging alliances and working much more closely with our allied LGBT advocacy organizations, we have found greater strength and effectiveness at ending some of the damage.

People know we are here. We have a presence among the public, among our LGBT allies, and in the face of the church, that we have not had previously. Where the church could once ignore LGBT issues or brush them aside, Affirmation has made them near constant topics of conversation among church leaders. Although we have a long way to go, we have made it easier for those who are coming out – and for their friends and families – to find the resources, the support, and the loving shoulders that make the journey a bit easier.

Mormons have always been activists. Since that moment when Joseph Smith was told to join none of the existing churches, the Latter-day tradition has been to step out, to not conform, but to follow what we believe to be right. When the early saints left the United States to cross the prairie to the Salt Lake Valley, they were anything but passive. We continue in that tradition, of standing up for what is right, speaking out on behalf of those who have no voice, judging no one for who they are, and doing what we can to make the world a better place. Affirmation leaders have spoken out in rallies and though television, radio, print media, motion pictures, the Internet, academic presentations, one-on-one conversations, lobbying, church meetings, and other forums, and we have been heard.

Both science and society have come a long way in the last three years. In 2011, we reached a significant turning point when, for the first time, a majority of people in the United States indentified as being either supportive or accepting of LGBT civil rights. We have identified the biologic causes of homosexuality in males, all of which take place prior to birth, and research is almost complete on the causes in females. We have marriage equality in several states in the U.S. and in several other countries, and we are starting to see significant improvements in legal protections for transgender individuals.

The “Grandfather of Affirmation,” Matt Price, told us to never forget the work of the Spirit. Although the LDS Church has done serious damage to many of our members, our friends, and our families, it has also given us our system of values and has been a large part of the forces that have made us what we are. I believe in the basic principles of the Gospel: the nature of the Godhead, the purpose of life, the divinity of Christ, the opportunity to receive guidance through the Holy Spirit, and in the principle of free agency. When I first considered running for Executive Director, George, Micah, and myself met together for two days to consider what it was we wanted to accomplish and how we could best serve Affirmation; the first thing that we did in that meeting was to get down on our knees in prayer and ask for the help and the guidance of the Spirit. That guidance has been with us for the past four years, and I have been grateful for its presence.

There are many good people within the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and over the years they have done a great many good things. And, like any large organization within an environment of free agency, there are some people who are not so good. As the President of Affirmation, I have had the opportunity to observe some of these individuals at close range and personally. Unfortunately, the great amount of truth and good, as we were warned in the Temple Endowment ordinance, has been mixed with untruth and with bad. Whatever moral ascendency the LDS Church may claim has been lost by the actions and the words of a few misguided souls who have used positions of leadership in the church to bully and to put down the weak, to spread hatred and fear, and to increase their personal dominion. Examples of this would have to include the actions of church leaders surrounding the California Prop 8 campaign, and the remarks of the President of the Quorum of the Twelve in the October, 2010, General Conference. (The former resulted in the LDS Church becoming the only religious organization to ever be found guilty of violating Federal election laws, the production of “8: the Mormon Proposition,” and an ongoing court challenge to the ballot results; the latter in a petition presented to the first Presidency by Affirmation and HRC with 150,000 signatures in protest of the comments, and the editing of those comments on the church web site and transcripts.) As Latter-day Saints (current or former church members), it is our duty to reject that which is wrong or evil and to seek to build up, in whatever way the Spirit may guide us, those things that of good, and right, and virtuous.

There have been many outstanding moments over the past three years. The most spiritual was standing in Sacrament meeting with Sam Wolfe as we each bore our testimony as gay men. By far the most humbling was at this year’s Annual Conference, as I had the great blessing to stand in the pulpit of the Kirtland Temple with my two assistants and with Paul Mortensen, the “Father of Affirmation,” and be the first person ever to be able to say, “Brothers and Sisters, Affirmation: Gay and Lesbian Mormons welcomes you this day to the House of the Lord.”

There are literally scores of people to thank for supporting me and for making the past three years so great; please know how much I appreciate each of you. Special thanks to those who have served as members of the Executive Committee: Hugo Salinas, Bruce Maughan, Buck Jeppson, Robert Moore, David Nielsen, Dale Barton; to my predecessor and mentor, Olin Thomas; and particularly to my amazing and dedicated assistants: Mary England, George Cole, Micah Bisson, and Joshua Behn. Affirmation is my home, you are my family, you are beautiful, each and every one, and I love you.

I love the Affirmation hymns that we often sing at Annual Conference: “Because I have been given much, I too must give,” “Come, come ye gays and lesbians rejoice,” “God be with you ‘til we meet again.” But for now, I leave you with the words of Matt Price to his friends in Affirmation, and of Paul, from First Thessalonians. I look forward to seeing each of you very soon, and I wish you a wonderful Christmas and a blessed new year.

“We firmly believe that Affirmation had a place in the plan of our Father in Heaven and His Kingdom, and that the Holy Spirit is still with us, as individuals and as a group of His Children, guiding us in what we are seeking to accomplish. His Spirit is most reflected when we are working toward our goals, ever mindful of the needs of our sisters and brothers, ourselves, and the working of our Savior in our lives and in our hearts.”

“Wherefore, comfort yourselves together, and edify one another, even as also ye do. Rejoice evermore. Prove all things; hold fast that which is good.”

With hope, faith, and love,

David Melson
President
Affirmation: Gay and Lesbian Mormons